


Behind These Glassy Eyes

by Teafully



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, BAMF Hyuuga Hinata, Drama, Other, Psychological Drama, Reincarnation, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-10 20:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7004611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teafully/pseuds/Teafully
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unless you can read eyes without pupils, you'll never know the true intentions hidden behind this mask. Self-insert!Hinata, BAMF!Hinata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Woes of a Burdened Soul

Chapter One: The Woes of a Burdened Soul

_Dying._

The endgame that everyone is destined to face. I suppose I should know; I’ve faced it many times before. Throughout history, I have lived through many generations of shinobi, and it has taught me nothing but caution, even as a mere spirit. After all, I am the spirit of a kunoichi who has never stopped fighting, has met death with open arms both spiritually, mentally, and physically. The hard exterior of every single body I have lived in has fallen and withered both emotionally and tangibly to the horrid truths of existence in such a world where ninja constantly fought, no matter what intentions villages or groups had.

The ideal of mercy slowly began to become fantasy and child’s play as I lived through wars that tore apart villages, families, and beliefs. I have had many fathers, mothers, and siblings in my everlasting life, and I have never forgotten any of their names or faces as I outlived them, even when my body did not. I cannot remember the names of my first family, nor their faces, yet I have felt kinship with all of the family that I had experienced since. After having so many of them lost in ways that I could not prevent–disease, accidents, and even murder–I began to wonder why the universe could so cruelly take someone away just because it _could_. My spirit has changed from trusting that of the unknown to absolutely _despising_ it.

My once-kind and welcoming aura soon became nothing but a hollowed version of itself, turning colder and colder with every family member and friend’s death… even my own. Every time I lost my life, my soul began to lose pieces of itself; buried with the body that it had inhabited for so long. Only then, when the last rational piece of my worn soul had been buried along with the rest of my hopes and dreams of becoming a better kunoichi, I felt a new flame become of me and my spirit as I awoke to the quiet darkness every time I met death:

I had to exist to further myself wherever my next body was born.

Along with its birth, I would lose all of the memories of my former family members, knowing nothing of their love once again and only the love of the new body’s, yet I felt comfort in this as I was faced with it. Living in the past has never come of anything good for my soul, and my soul would continue to live in the present.

Kindness never got me anywhere with any of my past bodies, but that was going to change.

After all, the only way that my immortal spirit would ever truly be put to rest is if I accomplished something that my fiery soul could die happy with; so far, all of my deaths had been either premature or welcomed with relief as during life I had done nothing worth of mention. With a body destined for greatness, I will finally be able to truly _die_.

Because of this, I am going to do whatever it takes to make my name known.

I will become the most powerful kunoichi that the world has ever seen, and I will allow no ninja to get into my way.

* * *

It was the morning of December, the 27th of the month, that I finally awoke with fresh eyes to a brand new world. I was held by a gentle woman; her eyes the color of fresh snow; the same snow that dotted the ground as I wriggled in response to brand-new life… though it was the only feature about her that stuck out; I could hardly see through these novel, precious eyes of a newborn.

_Here we go again. It’s time to learn how to do everything all over again. I have to go through the woes of learning how to walk, talk, and what the limits of my new body can do. It’s a pain, but I suppose it’s part of the deal of being everlastingly immortal._

The first thing I noticed about my new body was how exceptionally frail I was. I had been born into my fair share of strong, dependable bodies from the moment of birth, but this body was much different than I was used to. My fingers felt like they were made of glass; one such movement or touch could break them in a heartbeat.

My mouth let out a cry as I realized how hungry I was; the feeling of starving never went away, no matter how many times I had done this.

My mother cooed to me, smiling widely and comfortingly. I could not understand what she said to me; I’d have to learn that all over again as well.

_I wonder what my name might be. I’ve had many, I can feel it, but those are memories that disappear until my death as well – just like the memory of having parents besides the one that is holding me as I cry._

Someone lifted me from my mother as I continued to cry, yet the coldness that I had yet to notice suddenly melted into warm and protective relief. The soft cotton that swaddled me allowed my cries to die down as I focused less on how hungry I was and more on how warm and protected I felt.

The now-familiar touch of my mother sunk through the blanket and to my soft, baby skin and penetrated the confusion of the situation at its heart: I was under her protection, with her gentle hands holding me and her arms much like a shield. No matter how many times I had experienced this feeling – among all of the times that I went without it – it had never been as strong as this.

My mother spoke to me once more, yet I suddenly was pulled toward her chest as her breast stuck toward me. Primitive instinct allowed my baby mouth to immediately open at the thought of the nutritional milk that housed itself inside of my mother. My tongue met the nipple as I began to suck, once again noticing the particular fragility of my body. My small jaw could hardly open wide enough to meet the nipple with my tiny opening without extra exertion of strength, which alone almost made the effort that I made to fill myself with this necessary liquid seem futile. It was almost as if I only filled myself to make up for the power that I exerted to get to that point in the first place.

Though, as I filled myself with the food that I needed to continue to live, the warm liquid paired with the softness of the cotton that wrapped around my tiny body warmed me enough to let my eyes droop.

_This body… something about it feels different from any body that I have ever experienced. There is something much different about me; maybe, in this life, I will finally accomplish something worth of pride and celebration. Maybe, in this life, I will finally meet death for the last time._

* * *

Slowly but surely, I awoke to the tatami mats in my room. The rich, grassy green illuminated itself under the natural light of the sun. My pale hand ran over the boards as I heaved myself up from the uncomfortable position on my belly that I normally assumed during sleep.

“Hinata!” A stern voice called to me as I awoke. Looking up, the man that I addressed as ‘Father’ stared down at me with his clear, angry eyes. “You’ve missed your training by waking late. What has had you so tired, my child? Is this training to become the heir of the Hyuga clan too much for you? Shall I hand it down to your younger sister instead? You are coming onto your twelfth year. You are old enough to be responsible on your own; I shouldn’t have to wake you.”

The disdain that he spoke to me with allowed an angry huff to be let out from my small lips.

_Father does not know the weight of what I know this world to be. Regardless of strength, sleep is important; it can be much more important than any training. That is one of the many things that I have learned – after all, my body can only handle so much beating on._

Nevertheless, I kept my cool. No one could know about my knowledge of the ninja world and how this world functions outside the walls of the Hyuga household. It’d been twelve long years that I had kept up my concealment of being older than my body let on.

My kind mother and my strict father, along with my younger, determined sister, had birthed me into somewhat royalty – I was, as the eldest of my father’s two children, to become the leader of the Hyuga clan when my father passed on. However, compared to my younger sister, my frail body had showed itself over the years just how truly fragile it was – she easily overcame me due to her strength and prowess. Regardless of what I knew in my past lives throughout history, my body had limits… and these limits were the most difficult that I had ever encountered.

I could see a punch coming, yet I could not dodge no matter how hard I tried.

I could use my Byakugan – a Kekkei Genkai that I had so luckily inherited from both of my parents, a power that I had seen many times in action with limitless power if correctly used – to see through attacks and trace my opponent’s chakra, even _stop_ their chakra from flowing, and I have yet to preform it correctly.

I have had this power, this lucky charm, since I was born. These glassy and clear eyes that signify dignity and prowess as well as gentle, triumphant power, yet I _still_ cannot get my body to do what my mind knows is fairly simple.

It did not matter how much I knew in the end – if my body was unable to do what my mind commanded, then this knowledge that I harbored was useless.

_If I ever let it be known that I am as knowledgeable as I am, much less spiritually immortal until I accomplish a great goal, I would be ridiculed. No matter how much combat I have faced, my body cannot learn._

“Yes father,” I sat up and allowed my bottom to touch my feet as I slowly allowed my head to touch those beautiful tatami mats along with my hands. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen a-again.”

Along with my fragile body, my voice had also experienced a significant change from what I was used to; I had developed a stutter that came with talking to my superiors and those whom I regarded as more successful than I… which, in correlation with my situation, was everyone I had ever met. After all, none of them have knowledge that could rival the smartest of this generation and cannot simply be useful in combat. Thus, the persona that I was stuck portraying to my family as well as my colleagues was that of a bumbling idiot.

“Make sure it does not happen again, Hinata.”

My name – Hinata – was not one I was familiar with. I had never met or heard of anyone with this unique name, and that I was grateful for. I also took great pride in that my mother was the one to name me, not my father. Her gentleness would always be bestowed upon me, no matter how horrid I may have to be to accomplish a goal.

_After all, you know, one cannot simply be with a pure heart to achieve greatness. The atrocities you have witnessed have made sure that you committed this to heart, haven’t they?_

I closed my eyes as I answered my own query, listening to my father exit my sleeping space. As his footsteps faded, I stood from my apologetic stance, my delicate feet stumbling as the blood rushed to my head. I approached my closet, which I opened to find my mirror staring straight at me. I had hidden it in my closet so that I did not have to look at myself as much – maybe twice a day at best – because I knew that how I presented myself on the outside mattered just as much as how I was on the inside… however, my low self-esteem stemming from the weakness of the body led me to this decision.

My reflection stared back at me and I took note of my interesting hair – the somewhat-bowl cut and the long side-bangs in the front – I often hated myself for it. Had my hair grown long and pretty, much like my mother’s, I would not have to wear my hair in such an embarrassing manner. The only things I prided myself about my appearance were my glassy eyes and my blueish hair. My sister, Hanabi, she inherited my father’s long brown hair, and I secretly loathed her for it.

These mysterious eyes of mine… they harbored the power of the Byakugan.

_If only mine was not so weak._

I stared harder at myself, trying to figure out what was so wrong about my body.

_Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this body is only destined to the same failure that I have faced countless times before._

Instead of debating my own statement, I allowed my thin eyebrows to shoot up; I had realized how wrong I was. I had one strong point, besides my knowledge.

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, which is an overwhelmingly truthful statement. The clear, pupil-less eyes that I sported could not be read by those who could not understand the individual.

The only thing they – my family, my classmates, my teachers, and my sister – understood about me was that I was weak, stuttered uncontrollably, and quiet. All of these things remained on the outside; these were observations of my surface.

With this amazing cover, I realized, my goal could be concealed and from even the sharpest of peers of mine.

None of them can see through my blank eyes, which always appeared to be void of emotion.

I smiled at my own reflection, confirming my remarks about my eyes.

With this convenient asset, no one will ever know what’s going on with this corrupted, determined soul of mine… not while it’s hidden behind these glassy eyes.


	2. His Determined Eyes

Chapter Two: His Determined Eyes

_ Flashback: _

_“Hinata,” I stood before my father as he addressed me before I attended my second day of school. I remember being six years old at the time. I was to be escorted by older members of the Hyuga clan to ensure my safety today, yet I had no idea why that was necessary when it was unneeded yesterday. “Wait a moment.”_

_I did as I was told and stared up at the serious and unforgiving gaze of my father. His blank eyes, much like mine, hardly showed any trace of emotion… yet, today, they gave off a particular air of disgust._

_“You mustn’t interact with the Fox Child. He has been instructed to be in your class. Make sure that you stay away from him.”_

_“Yes, father.” I nodded obediently. There was nothing else that I could do in my father’s presence but obey, and I learned that from a very young age. “I will make sure to avoid them.”_

_Before now, I had heard of such a child and such a fox. I had learned of the Jinchuuriki many lifetimes ago, and to have one in my class was very interesting. I knew of the troubles that they faced, and I had heard of this particular child before. Many people were reluctant to speak to or of him._

_Yet, I put the thoughts out of my mind and approached the Academy building with my escorts. Villagers, Shinobi, and children alike parted the streets for my escorts and I in a sign of silent respect for what the Hyuga family stood for. I kept to myself, reluctant to make eye contact with anyone as I focused on holding my head high._

_“I suppose that’s one way that I can pretend to be as worthy of their reverence as they make me out to be,” I thought, keeping my eyes on the beautiful red wood of the Academy building, where I had already managed to fly under the radar. “I wonder how many children have actually met this Fox Child…?”_

_My escorts murmured quiet goodbyes and good wishes as I entered the Academy building and made my way to my classroom on the left; 1-B. Lifting my head ever so slightly, I reached toward the door to slide it open, but when I did, I was welcomed with an unbelievable sight:_

_Standing atop of a desk was a blonde child, sporting an unusually orange jumpsuit. His blonde hair shone in the artificial lights of the classroom as I entered, yet I could not find it in myself to approach._

_“Did you all hear me?” The boy yelled, pointing to his heart with his right thumb. “I’m going to become Hokage, the greatest that Konoha has ever seen… and every single one of you will respect me!”_

_After his spiel, the sizable classroom had erupted in the laughter of as many as fifteen children, but that soon drowned out as I studied the orange-clad child. The distinct lines on his cheeks reminded me of a feline as his crestfallen blue eyes met the dark floorboards._

_“Hey, get out of my way! Can’t you see you’re blocking the entrance?” A girl pushed me out of the way, and I realized too late that I had been standing, dumbfounded, in front of the door. Her cyan, angry eyes met mine as she made a face at me and I flinched away, ashamed of my mistake._

_“I’m sorry…” I trailed off as I looked up once more, and I looked up to see the Fox Child staring at our little scene. His fiery, blue orbs met mine and I locked up, feeling that fire shoot through my veins._

_Never before had I ever seen such earnest, hopeful eyes. They portrayed the perfect mix of passion yet determined grace. His slouchy posture and outspokenness were nothing in comparison to the vivid picture of his character that I had deciphered just from his eyes._

_I shook my head, trying to forget the determination that spilled out of the Fox Child._

_If only I knew his name. His real name; not the horrid “Fox Child” that everyone made him out to be._

_Our sensei, which I had learned to be Iruka-sensei just yesterday, stepped into the room and stopped beside me, his booming voice echoing almost visibly off of the walls of the classroom:_

_“Naruto Uzumaki! Get off of that desk this instant!”_

_Naruto._

_Naruto Uzumaki was the child that my father had told me to stay clear from… yet, I couldn’t figure out what exactly made myself want to get closer to him._

_Throughout all of my classes, I couldn’t help but allow my mind to wander to him. Though I sat in the back row of desks and he sat toward the front, I allowed my gaze to glaze over him as frequently as possible. All of the knowledge that I had spent lifetimes acquiring could not have ever prepared me for this scenario. I was, admittedly, interested in this Naruto Uzumaki; how could his resolve be so strong at this young age?_

_The unanswerable question bothered me even on my walk home from a long day of school that I had spent spacing out. I could hardly put one foot in front of the other as the questions began to pile up:_

_What was his story?_

_How can his mind be so made up at such a young age?_

_I was frankly stumped. What about this boy did everyone fear? Was it his bright attitude? His laidback posture? His unmatched determination?_

_How could eyes that laid out such an open-book of information be so difficult to interpret?_

_My mother greeted me as I made my way back to our property, eagerly waiting for me to tell her all about my second day of school. I could only stare at her and make up responses to her questions, until she stared at me intently:_

_“Did you meet anyone in particular today? You said you didn’t have time to meet anyone yesterday.”_

_My eyes widened as I searched for an answer to her question, but I ultimately decided on the truth, regardless of how risky it may have been:_

_“I met a boy today, mother.”_

_“A boy?” Her interest was piqued as I uttered the words. “What kind of boy? A nice boy?”_

_I could hear it in her tone of voice; she had always pushed for me to make friends so that I didn’t spend so much time on my own. Yet, I had strongly refrained from doing so up until this point. I did not want to bring anyone into the hell that I forced myself to traverse through. This was my mission alone._

_“A very n-nice boy.”_

_My ridiculous stuttering took over as I quickly dismissed myself and hurried to my sleeping space, pulling the door shut as I slid to my knees. My mother could not know that the boy that I had come into contact with was the dreaded Fox Child that everyone spoke so degradingly of._

_I crawled to my bed, covering myself with the thin material as I shut my eyes, hoping to drown out the world for even just a little while, but it was then when I launched myself into a dream._

* * *

_I stood in the dark, desperately unable to see. I could not seem to activate my Byakugan, either. Panic slowly crept up on me; even though I had faced death countless times, I could not help but wonder if I was facing it again. Could my body really have been so crushed under pressure that it gave up in the darkness of sleep?_

_“I wasn’t done yet!”_

_Instead, as I looked around frantically, a light had begun to bud a couple of paces in front of me. I winced at the harshness of it; after being so adjusted to darkness, it was surprising to experience the warmth and welcoming aura of the glow._

_In this light, a man stepped out from it, holding his hand toward me. The glare of the light intensified with every step that he took until he stood in front of me, extending his hand toward me._

_My heart thumped in my mind as I searched for the correct words to speak:_

_The man who stood in front of me was the same orange-clad boy that I had met today… except he seemed visibly older. The intensity of his eyes had not changed from what I had witnessed early this morning, and I felt myself choke on whatever words that I could have uttered to him. Sheer willpower radiated off of him, and I slowly let my hand reach toward him._

_When my fingers touched his palm, the automatically molded themselves into a tight hold and the rest of my hand met his warm touch. I stared at my hand in his as it glowed with a strange, orange aura._

_I looked up for an explanation, a sign, anything from the older Naruto that stood before me, but his earnest eyes and kind smile told me everything that I needed to know._

_His determination was much stronger than that of mine. My determination paled miserably in comparison. The man who stood before me had a means and a pure need to become the embodiment of greatness, while I simply wanted to become great so I could finally die for the last time. My motivation did not even come close to that of his. He alone was destined to become something great – if he had those who trusted in him. Now, I saw that no one could trust him due to the Jinchuuriki that he housed within him… but that was far from his fault. _

_I breathed sharply when I noticed his eyes widen as his eyebrows shot up, as if he was asking me a silent question._

_“He has to be asking me something… what if it has to do with our hands?”_

_Our hands continued to offer up this orange glow, and I took note of how safe it caused me to feel, even in the crushing presence of unending darkness._

_My hand gripped his tightly when I watched the question that he asked me intensify within his gaze. I read it as clear as day. He wanted to know if I would continue with him in his quest for greatness and respect, and I had to be the one to let him know that I will be there every step of the way… even if it’s from the sidelines._

_We both have our views of greatness and we both have goals to accomplish. With this reasoning, we could support each other in differing ways. Even though I had stuck it to myself that I would not drag anyone else into the mess that I made for myself, I could not deny the pure intentions of Naruto’s eyes._

_With a nod, I felt a heartfelt smile creep into my features. Those eyes that I had only begun to decipher softly smiled along with the rest of his face, and I opened my mouth to say something to him, but I suddenly woke up in the darkness of my own room._

* * *

_I had been so spooked by the dream that I had had that I did not sleep for the remainder of the night, even though I woke up with an odd sensation of relief._

_The next morning, I insisted to my father that I needn’t go to school with escorts today. I wanted to walk to school in peace today._

_“Father, I can walk myself to school; I don’t n-need escorts today.”_

_I tried to say this as politely as I could; my father was known to have an explosive temper when it came to disrespect._

_“Hinata, you know how dangerous that is,” a hint of warning in his tone nearly made me stop arguing, but he continued closing his sharp eyes in thought: “Yet, I can understand your plea. You know enough to potentially protect yourself in combat, and I see no reason to allow you to walk to and from classes.”_

_With that, he dismissed me, and I flew out of my home, waving a quick and quiet goodbye to my kind mother who was tending to my young sister._

_I reached the Academy early, desperately looking around for Naruto in the front of the school. He was nowhere to be found. I then quickly made my way to classroom 1-B, and sure enough, along with my other classmates, he was in our classroom, yet I saw a different side of him than I had yesterday:_

_He slouched unpleasantly at the front of the room, quietly watching contemptuously as the rest of our classmates conversed with each other in a friendly manner. The confidence and determination that I had seen yesterday was easily hidden by his current emotions._

_“Naruto,” I approached him slowly and his eyes turned toward me with confusion set inside of them… as if he could not believe that I was bothering to speak to him. “I believe in y-you!”_

_My voice wavered as I finished my sentence because his blank gaze bore into me for several moments before my hands began to curl inside of themselves like they often did when I got nervous, but his face erupted into a smile as he turned toward me._

_“Wow! You’re the first one who’s said that to me! What’s your name?”_

_I watched the happiness return to his features as he addressed me for the first time in real life._

_“Hinata Hyuga.”_

* * *

What I saw in my dream has never left me, even to this day.

Six years later, being twelve years old in the present, I have gone to school with Naruto ever since. Though, after I acknowledged him in light of what happened in my dream, he had gotten some other children to hang around, ultimately gearing himself up to be despised by Iruka-sensei.

As I sat down in class today, I allowed my eyes to wander toward a certain Uzumaki as he laughed with his usual’s:

An Akimichi by the name of Choji, who typically ate nothing but chips, violating Iruka-sensei’s strict “No Food” policy.

Shikamaru Nara, the laziest and most ill-tempered kid in our class. Though he often fell asleep during class, he managed to garner the highest test scores in our year. Due to this, Iruka-sensei could hardly punish him.

Lastly, a boy named Kiba Inuzuka and his small but dependable companion Akamaru were, in ways, similar to Naruto, which I suppose is why they typically get on each other’s nerves.

“Alright class, take your seats. Just because you’re used to having me as your teacher does _not_ mean that I am going to let you step all over me this year.”

Iruka-sensei, my teacher ever since I had been attending school, addressed the loud room full of students that I had mostly learned to ignore. These children simply were that; children. None of them knew the horrors of this world first-hand… except for one:

Sasuke Uchiha.

I sent a side-long glance his way; his pale arms rested themselves upon his desk as he huffed at his classmates; Naruto in particular.

I was alive in another body when I heard about his clan being slaughtered by the infamous Itachi Uchiha. I remember hearing about it, yet I had no idea there was a single Uchiha survivor until I realized that the latter was in my class. He showed the Uchiha prowess that I have seen many times before, yet his disregard for friendship put me off.

“Let’s take roll,” Iruka smiled at the now-quiet classroom.

The process of rollcall every morning was irritating, and I mumbled a ‘here’ when Iruka-sensei came to my name on the roster.

_When can we get to training? I need to practice my chakra control before I get home._

After all, my father would not tolerate a child who could not even control their own chakra.

“Alright, class. I’ve filled out your grade sheets for your genin tests. Every single one of you managed to pass.”

Iruka-sensei stole a glance at Naruto, whose face I was unable to read from my perspective. Audible gasps filled the room as I allowed my eyes to wander down to my worn, wooden desk.

_How did I manage to pass? My chakra control is weak, my clone jutsu is not up-to-par with expectations, and I still can’t even manage to use my Byakugan correctly. What the hell makes him think that I’m ready to be a genin at this rate?”_

“I’m so proud of each and every one of you. All of you have managed to surpass my expectations and I am very glad to have been your teacher all of these years. Now, I have the three-man squads ready. You will be with these teammates for a long while; I have organized them by score. You will be placed primarily with students who scored in your range, though in the case of some teams, higher scoring candidates will be placed with those with lower scores to even the odds.”

I glanced around at my interested classmates’ faces, though I glanced back at Naruto to see his hands cross over the back of his head in a relaxed position.

_If he’s not fazed by this, I shouldn’t be either!_

Admittedly, I have been jealous of Naruto for quite some time; to have his determination easily surpass my own was unsettling. Until now, I had thought that my motive was enough to see me through to my goal, yet Naruto’s simple resolve effortlessly exceeded mine.

For a few tense minutes, I listened to my classmates be paired up with each other, which was unsettling. Despite having done this many times before, I was still nervous… but I suppose it was for one reason: I wanted to be on Naruto’s squad. I wanted to see how much he would grow and prosper so I could be by his side and we could both achieve the greatness that we strove for together.

_Besides the fact that he hardly knows I exist… though, that’s fine by me. It’s not like he knew about that ominous dream way back when._

“Squad seven!” Iruka-sensei called, and I snapped my head up as he coughed.

“Naruto Uzumaki!”

I watched as he became more attentive immediately, and I clasped my hands together in a silent prayer that Naruto would be on my squad.

“Sakura Haruno!”

A pink-haired girl groaned loudly as Naruto put his hands up in celebration.

“Sasuke Uchiha!”

It was then when I allowed my hands to fall limply onto my desk, beside my pencil, which promptly rolled off of my desk. I did not hear anything else that was said by Naruto as I focused on the situation at hand.

_I guess that’s it, then._

My old spirit, used to disappointment and unrest, simply turned away from the conflict, yet my young mind succumbed to the frustration of losing this battle. I could see the water gathering at the brims of my eyes and I instantly hated myself for it.

_Crying is weak, but it is something that I haven’t truly done for lifetimes._

Through the thought, I could find strength in the act of crying out of frustration, but Iruka-sensei’s voice snapped me out of it:

“Squad eight! Hinata Hyuga!”

I opened my eyes wide as I quickly wiped my tears away.

“Kiba Inuzuka!”

I glanced in front of me, where Kiba and Akamaru sat lazily, not seeming to care whether or not they were placed on a team or not.

“Shino Aburame!”

I had no clue who the last person on my squad was, so I glanced around to get a better look of my classmates. None of them had responded to the name “Shino”, and I held in a bitter sigh.

_I guess we’ll just have to become great in our own ways, Naruto… but I’ll watch from here. Even though it’ll be a long road for both of us, I really hope you do well.”_

Although I willed myself to pay attention, I had to address what I was slowly getting myself into: I’m getting much too invested in these affairs. I knew that, as a spirit so old and tired, I should be focusing on my goal and my goal only… yet, six years ago through this very day, Naruto’s eyes had shown me that there was much more to life than death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes:
> 
> Did you like this chapter? I hope so – I wanted to explain Hinata’s affiliation with Naruto in a flashback kind of way because I didn’t really want to suddenly explore more of her background in present-tense. I hope that was an okay thing to do; I didn’t want to have most of the chapter in italics but I suppose that’s the only way to show that it is in the past. I’m sorry if that hurt anyone’s eyes; I’ll make note of it so that I’ll refrain from doing it in the future.
> 
> Like I said before: lots of things that may have happened in canon to/or involving Hinata may or may not happen. This means she did not meet Naruto by the means that she did in canon. I’m kinda trying to not rewrite canon; that’s no fun!
> 
> I might also apologize for the amount of one-sided dialogue so far: next chapter will have much more external dialogue, now that we’re done with flashback stuff!
> 
> Anyways, tell me how you like this so far – my work is heavily dependent on reviews/comments because I’m actually quite self-conscious of my writing.
> 
> ~Teafully~


	3. Pack Order

Chapter Three: Pack Order

_Squad 8 – meet in front of the Academy immediately after your placement into teams._

I read the paper over and over again. It had been distributed by Iruka-sensei as he sent us all on our ways, yet my squad was the only one that had been given a formal meeting place.

“So, you’re on _my_ squad, huh?”

I turned to my right to see Kiba Inuzuka standing beside me as we fell into the same pace. While I had never particularly paid any attention to him, I knew that he would be a good asset to my team.

“Yes.” I replied, levelling my gaze to his, though he was slightly taller than I.

We stopped walking as I backed a considerable distance away from the boy and his loyal companion.

_Never let your guard down – even when these are people that you are instructed to trust._

“Don’t forget me – I am on your squad as well, Kiba.” A deep, intimidating voice darkened the atmosphere. I slowly turned my head to meet the dark glasses of a mysterious trench coat donning figure. His spiky, unkempt hair stood as if it were grass reaching up to the nurturing sun. “Shino Aburame, of the Aburame clan.”

I studied this boy as his dark glasses travelled over Kiba and I simultaneously. I sensed an interesting air about this particular boy; he was much unlike the rest of the students here at the Academy. The fact that I had no idea who he was until now was an immediate warning sign.

_I’ll keep an eye on him in particular._

“Besides, who are you to label this team as your own?” Shino continued, his glasses flashing with his sudden movement toward Kiba. “Who made _you_ our leader? I do not tolerate people like you labelling things that are not yours to label.”

Shino took a singular step toward Kiba, who turned and painted a telling smirk on his face.

“I’m just establishing the order of rank in our pack, just like dogs would. The dominant figure is the first and foremost the leader of the pack, and that figure is _me_ , obviously.”

Shino took offense to this, his eyebrows raising in a challenge. “How _dare_ –”

“I see you all are getting along just _fabulously_ , aren’t you?”

A feminine voice halted the verbal assault that was bound to happen. I turned to face the voice and I was met with a sight that caused my mouth to go agape as I spotted a woman, much taller than I, looming over our quarreling group. The black locks that cascaded down her round shoulders were like the thickest and deadliest of vines with the smallest and most discrete thorns, and the crimson eyes that she sported depicted the blood of an innocent that had pricked themselves on one of those thorns, and this blood had dripped upon the purest white rose. Her soft features gave the impression of daintiness, yet her posture displayed power in its finest form.

“I suggest you three follow me before you cause a scene; I wouldn’t want to fail any of you before we’ve even spoken.”

I nodded quickly as I fell into a respectful step behind the woman, and I could hear my new teammates fall into step behind me. The tension easily unnerved me as we traveled through the familiar streets of Konoha. We passed many civilians who were going about their daily business, and I watched as young children paraded through the streets as if they were carefree, and I couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

_This village does give the impression of peace, as it always has in the past. I’m glad that these children are safe within these walls._

As if my thoughts had called it forth, the woman had turned back to me to see me smiling into space. Her lips curled up in a smile as well as she turned away, and I let my thoughts wander to a more pressing subject.

_I’m assuming she is my sensei, yet–_

“Yanno, you’re really starting to get on my nerves,” Kiba’s sharp voice snapped me out of my deep thoughts as I turned to see him glaring at the angry Aburame’s face. “Take a picture of me; it might last longer! Even though you’ve got tinted glasses, four-eyes, I can _see_ you staring at me.”

“Just making sure you don’t try anything, Inuzuka,” Shino shot back, slowly grinding to a halt as he turned his entire body to face my other teammate. “I know of your kind; you’ll take down anyone who shows any indication of letting their guard down. I’m just making sure that you know that my guard is always up.”

“ _My kind?_ ” Kiba’s voice began to rise as my shoulders sagged in response to the harsh tone he used. “As if! Just who the hell do you think you are; making generalizations like that?”

I slowly slid to a stop and glanced between my teammates before taking a deep breath and holding out my arms to prevent them from stepping past me.

“What is the meaning of this?” Shino asked me, his nose crinkling in the slightest distaste at my existence.

Kiba’s eyebrows knitted together as well, agreeing with Shino. “Yeah. What’s up, Hinata?”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, willing myself to keep calm and express my feelings in a collected manner _without_ letting on that I am more than what meets the eye, and I opened them to stare at my new teammates’ faces in turn.

“If you two could… please stop fighting… I would really appreciate it…”

My tiny voice’s good intentions were lost as Shino jerked past me easily, as if my arms were nothing but a delicate spider web in his path.

“Don’t get in my way, Hyuga.”

I glanced at Kiba, who pushed away from me without even acknowledging what I had said. I watched their retreating backs as our sensei stared at me with those deep, bloody eyes and I forced myself to look away.

_In a past life, they would have paid for their transgressions through my fists._

Though, I knew that speaking up with any intended force would only result in suspicion, so I closed my eyes once again and took a deep, calming breath, counting to three.

_One._

_Two._

_Three._

When I opened my eyes once again, I was met by the eyes of my squad. Both Kiba and Shino had stopped to stare at me calming myself and my sensei’s eyes had never left my face.

“Alright,” the woman asserted herself with her dark, flowery voice. Those rosy eyes scanned each and every one of us as she turned back toward our path. “We’re going to continue to the training field in silence. If I hear one more word from a single one of you, I’ll take care of you myself.”

* * *

As our sensei commanded, we made the three-minute trek to the common training field in absolute silence. Not even Akamaru had made a sound.

The field, littered with scarred wooden posts and crushed grass, was void of life. Not a single ninja could be seen or heard, and our sensei took that opportunity as she finally turned to the three of us.

“We may as well start with introductions, though I’m sure you two have already introduced yourselves,” she glared at Kiba and Shino in turn before biting her lip and beginning: “I am your new sensei, Kurenai Yuuhi and I am a Jounin. My hobbies include… well, quite frankly, my hobbies are none of your business. Who’s next?”

“I suppose I’ll go,” Shino volunteered as he stood rigidly beside me. “I am Shino Aburame of the Aburame clan. My hobbies are helping my father tend to rare species of insects as well as training to become a better shinobi.”

Kurenai nodded approvingly. “Very good, Shino. Now–”

“I’ll go next!” Kiba immediately jumped at the chance and I watched Kurenai-sensei faintly narrow her eyes as Kiba continued on: “I’m Kiba Inuzuka of the Inuzuka clan, and this is my dog, Akamaru! My main hobbies are training with Akamaru and helping my veterinarian sister tend to sickly animals.”

All eyes turned toward me as I took a moment to compose myself and assess the situation.

_Everyone here has given very limited information about themselves… I should do the same._

“My name is Hinata Hyuga… and my hobby is training with my father.”

Kurenai-sensei gave me a small smile before raising an eyebrow at all of us. “Interesting. Well, that’s all I had on my schedule for you all today.”

“Wait, what?” Kiba approached Kurenai-sensei quickly and looked up at her questioningly. “What do you mean that’s all you have for us, Kurenai-sensei? I thought we were going to start training immediately!”

Even I couldn’t hide my own surprise and curiousity. Typically, more than introductions would take place at a time like this. It was still midday – the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky – and yet our sensei was giving us the day off? It just didn’t add up.

_She knows more than she’s letting on._

Before I could assess the current situation with more rationality, our sensei shrugged and glanced over all three of us.

“A day off _should_ be a blessing. We’ll get started tomorrow, I promise.”

With that, she began to walk back the way we came, leaving the three of us in utter confusion.

_I can’t just sit here. You’d think that the knowledge that I’ve compiled throughout my past lives would come in handy right about now, but I can’t think of a single thing that would help us in this situation! How useless._

Shino turned to me before turning to Kiba, and then began to head the same way that Kurenai-sensei began to head. “I suppose I will be seeing you all tomorrow.”

“Hey–wait, Shino!” Kiba called after our teammate, but to no avail as Shino continued on until he was out of sight. “This _blows_! What the hell are we supposed to do for the rest of the day – train? Hell if I’m going to train without an explanation! C’mon!”

With that, Kiba raced out of the clearing, but I refused to be left to my own devices. I pushed my body to its maximum, racing after my teammate, until he was out of sight.

_Where could he have run off to?_

I advanced slowly, treading carefully around civilians, until I heard a voice:

“Hyuga, get down.”

Dropping to my clan’s specialized stance, I looked around for wherever the voice had come from. My first glance was toward the quiet restaurant to my left, and I scanned the premises, only to be surprised when Shino stood by an adjacent bush.

“Can’t you use that Byakugan of yours to see where I had hidden? I said get down.”

Without bothering to acknowledge the taunt, I quickly approached Shino and crouched beside him in the thick brush beside the family restaurant.

“Shino… what–”

“Hey, Hinata! You’re here, too!” I jumped as I whipped around, spotting Kiba and Akamaru behind me.

“If you could quiet down for a few moments,” Shino addressed Kiba dismissively, causing Akamaru to whine before the Aburame turned toward me urgently. “So, all three of us have resolved to find answers to Kurenai-sensei’s ridiculous idea to letting us off early today?”

I nodded as Kiba muttered a quiet “yeah” underneath his breath, and Shino nodded toward both of us.

“I myself have attempted to track her down, but I was led toward this establishment before teaming up with Kiba. I have reason to believe that Kurenai-sensei is inside, yet I am unsure what she is doing inside this restaurant.”

I nodded in understanding as I glanced between my two teammates, and I took a deep breath before focusing in on the restaurant in front of us. “Byakugan!” I whispered. The worn wood suddenly disappeared from my sight as I could see the singular chakra flow of one ninja inside of the establishment, and I quickly assumed that it was our sensei.

“I think it’s her!” I exclaimed, confirming my teammates’ suspicions. “W-what do we do now?”

Kiba jumped up from our cover, staring down at Shino and I with wild eyes. “ _I_ think we should go straight in there and show her the business!”

“Hold your horses, hotshot,” Shino remarked before bringing a hand up to his chin, thinking for a long moment. “I believe we should lay low for a while. After all, our sensei never told us what her hobbies were. Maybe we can learn a little while we’re following her – you know, as if we’re on some sort of mission. I think we should take this opportunity to learn rather than burst in and get to the point.”

I nodded in agreement with Shino, causing Kiba to roll his eyes. “Tch; who died and made _you_ our leader?”

Though an argument easily began to bud with Kiba’s fighting words, I used my Byakugan once again, finding that our sensei was on the move. She had stood up and begun to walk toward the entrance, and I dove toward Kiba, bowling him over as she passed our hiding spot. Kiba gasped as we both hit the dirt, and I quickly rolled off of him as Kurenai-sensei passed us without looking over at us.

_Damn, that was close._

“ _Inuzuka_ ,” Shino muttered lowly as our sensei was out of earshot. “If you must insist on compromising our mission, then I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Kiba shot up into a sitting position, tightening his fists and glaring in Shino’s direction. “As if! You _need_ me to figure out where sensei went. After all, _I’m_ the one with the ninja hound.” Akamaru barked in agreement, and rushed off in pursuit of our sensei with Kiba at his heels.

I glanced at Shino, who had ever so slightly hung his head, and I stood up as well. “I think… we should follow him! Whether we like it or not… we’re a team, and we need to start acting as one!”

Without waiting for a response, I took off toward where Kiba and Akamaru had disappeared to, and before long Shino had caught up to me. We shared a quick pace as he quietly turned to me for a fraction of a second.

“Hinata Hyuga, is it? You’re an interesting character.”

“Y-you too!” I stammered, and I slowed to a stop when I spotted Kiba and Akamaru up ahead, staring ominously into space.

Akamaru was the first to notice the two of us approaching and barked a greeting at us, which prompted Kiba to turn around. The first thing that I noticed on his face was pure confusion.

“We’ve lost the trail… but I don’t get it. A trail doesn’t up and disappear like that. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Shino approached Kiba quickly and took the lead. “Interesting. I guess I’ll leave it up to my insects, then. I’ll allow them to release themselves and then I’m going to ask the two of you to follow me.”

I nodded silently when Shino slowly allowed the release of his insects to cloud in front of us, and Kiba laughed lightly. “Yanno, you’re not as bad as I thought you were, considering your attitude… but it looks like you know what you’re doing, so I’ll trust you.”

I fell into step with Kiba behind Shino as we followed him, his insects of all shapes and sizes leading us through the streets and through alleyways, before we came to a complete stop. Shino had stopped only moments after we had begun, and he had called his insects back to his body.

“My beloved insects are trying to lead us into circles. Impossible.”

With those words alone, my body began to lock up in fear as I studied our surroundings.

_This reeks of a trap._

To my right was nothing but a trash can, to my left was another restaurant, and behind me was an empty road without a single civilian in sight. The whole scene bled of confusion and concern for my teammates.

I opened my mouth to voice my concerns to my teammates, who but a surprising sight walked across my line of vision. From out of the restaurant, Kurenai-sensei strutted toward us, hands on her hips, with a smile ghosting on her features.

“I see you are all getting along just _fabulously_ , aren’t you?”

* * *

“Wait so… that _whole thing_ was a trick?”

Kiba stood up from our booth in the restaurant that Kurenai-sensei had ushered us inside. I had taken my seat beside Shino and the wall, and Kiba sat across from me, while Kurenai had sat next to him, casually sipping some vodka, which she had finally admitted to be her favorite drink. I stared at my hands, having refused any food out of good conscience, and quietly awaited Kurenai-sensei’s response.

“Well, not exactly. You see, all Jounin were strictly instructed to test their new Genin’s teamwork if we suspected animosity within the group… naturally, I decided to do so by suddenly giving you all the day off, because I knew you three would follow me, along the way learning how to rely on each other in your own way.”

I nodded slowly, understanding the reason behind this. “That still doesn’t explain–”

“The scent disappearing?” Kurenai-sensei’s sharp, rosy eyes glinted with interest. “I decided to use a little bit of Genjutsu while I was at it, just to make the situation as tense as possible. Yet, you all still managed to get along, even for a short while. That was the goal, so I guess we really _didn’t_ take the day off, did we?”

Shino’s eyebrows creased as he glanced down at the pork grilling before him. “I suppose not.”

Kiba had sat down, Akamaru peeping out of his jacket as he rested his head on the back of the chair. “I guess…”

“Also, Hinata,” Kurenai-sensei had addressed me for the first time, and I looked up to see her kind eyes staring straight at me. “The way you managed to pull your teammates together was a must-have for success in this test, and I’d like to commend you for that.”

I nodded, shrinking under the gazes of my squad. “Thank… you.” Yet, something much more pressing was on my mind: what if that was all that I was good for?

_In order to finally be put to rest, I need to do something great… and that definition is extremely vague… but does this mean that I’m just an instrument for other people to become great? That I should be their stepping stone, but also be unable to progress?_

My deep thought was interrupted by Kurenai-sensei, who stood to address Kiba with a serious light in her gaze.

“Although, there was one thing that you said that I took a vested interest in that I never really made clear. As for our pack order, I will first and foremost _always_ be your alpha, unless _I_ state otherwise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes:
> 
> I’m glad at least some people like the way that this story is progressing; I don’t get many comments, but the ones that I have gotten do mean a lot to me!
> 
> Now, this definitely wasn’t my favorite chapter, but it had to be done. I couldn’t get it to turn out right, but I’m satisfied by the way that it is now.
> 
> I know that right now the story might seem kinda… boring? I guess? However, I still have to establish bonds and feels before jumping into the meat of things and I really hope that you enjoy what I’ve done so far. Pairings? Hmm. I’ll think about it.
> 
> Also, I know that a lot of people are “canon purists” – people who want stories to stick to the canon that they are so used to seeing – and I’m just going to say upfront that there is no place for canon purism here. I will be using the bones of canon and bending things as I see fit, so get ready to learn new things that I have personally interpreted. So, if things seem “not correct with canon”, I’d say that that is expected.
> 
> Thank you for reading and leave me a comment if you can because that really helps me write faster!
> 
> ~Teafully~

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been about four? years since I’ve written for Naruto and I’ve recently gotten back into the fandom, revealing my secret love for Hinata’s character. Thus, the thought was born: what would happen if Hinata was cruel?
> 
> I guess you could call this a self-insert fic, hence the first-person talk, but the person who is Hinata is not based off of me… if that makes any sense. I do have a tendency to write more in-depth in first person, so I hope that’s not really a bother; I know many people like reading third-person fanfiction (myself being one of them), but I think it’d be interesting to see what I’ve got planned from a one-sided standpoint.
> 
> I also might add that because of Hinata not being the canon one we’re used to, a lot of events that happen will not be in canon/will happen later than they did in canon.
> 
> Let me know if you like the beginning of this (I hope you did; I tried to make it original) and let me know if you’d like me to continue!
> 
> ~Teafully~


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